Monday, December 2, 2013

Poker face

There's something about Mondays that are motivating for me.  I might be the odd ball out, but I find myself at my prime first thing in the morning or of the week.  I can get 3 loads of laundry done, dish washer loaded and running, phone calls made, prescriptions refilled, baths done, house vacuumed and grocery shopping done before 1:00...but once that magic hour hits, my energy goes caplooey.  I wonder why?! haha  Once my "to do" list is checked off, I can breath easier and focus more clearly.  Sometimes I feel like I have short term memory loss like Dori and wonder how the heck I don't run out the door without shoes or my wallet (luckily it's second nature for the most part so doesn't require much thought).  I'm notorious for having to make lists and texting the wrong people several times a week.  The glorious life of a special needs mom (or as I'm sure most moms can relate).  The only down time I get in my day is when Carter is at school and my 2 year old is napping.  Ahh, the heavenly nap time!  On a good day, my calls are done before the magic hour and I can browse the web or watch HGTV uninterrupted.  I'm feeling particularly more clear minded today and I'm thinking it's mostly due to sleeping better last night. This whole change of medications thing is really taking it's toll.  Please remind me of this if we ever decide to change sleep meds again...that I will go sleep deprived for over a month!  I am so thankful for my wonderful husband who is a night owl, because he took over with Carter so that I could go to bed.  I even decided to shut the bedroom door to block out Carter's vocalizing, which I almost never do.  I still woke several times through the night (out of habit) to see if Carter ended up falling asleep or not.  Every time I had checked, he had not.  And as my luck goes, when my alarm clock went off to alert me that it was time to get Carter ready for school...I discovered that he had finally fallen asleep.  So instead of waking him, I decided to let him sleep and take him to school late.  It allowed me another hour of sleep and it was the best decision ever.  I even managed to get a shower and half way ready for the day before he woke up.  I dropped him off at school by noon and hit the grocery store with my toddler.  My "trick" that I started early in, was to NEVER allow my daughter to walk in the store...EVER!  I don't want her to know it's possible and I'm hoping she doesn't figure it out on her own for a very long time.  She was an angel for me, so I couldn't resist rewarding her with a bag of lollipops.  Those magical lollipops are my hopeful key to potty training over the month as well.  We are also going to start breaking her of her pacifier.  I must be totally insane.  But I suppose while we are already sleep deprived, why not start on all the difficult transitions at the same time, right?!  RIGHT?!

This past week was Thanksgiving and it didn't quite go as planned since Carter came down with a bad cold and fevers.  But we made the best of it.  This is our second winter living back in Michigan (Carter's second winter of his life) and like last year, he is sick frequently.  ER visits are biweekly and hospital admissions are rapidly increasing.  I've decided not to make anymore travel plans from the months of October to April anymore.  It's just not realistic in our lives.  Our family is learning to duck and dive pretty flawlessly these days.  Since we had planned for months to go to Pennsylvania for the holiday, we had no turkey, potatoes, casserole ingredients or anything.  We ended getting a precooked meal from Meijer.  Not my picturesque idea of a Thanksgiving dinner, but it sufficed due to the circumstances.  The kids didn't know the difference nor did they care and that is all that matters.

No matter how much planning that goes in to any event, activity or weekend, I have learned not to get my hopes up too high and to laugh despite the disappointment of unexpected changes.  It's the only way to get through the trials and tribulations in life.  My goal is to keep life as simple and happy as possible for my girls as they see their brother struggle.  If my girls can smile, laugh and live a good life even though my husband and I hurt and feel like crying some days than I feel like we have done something right.  We all know that there is no perfect instruction manuel to parenthood, especially when a child is born with disabilities.  It's not about the hand you are dealt, it's how you decide to play them.

My focus this week is on our excitement over getting Carter's new wheelchair (expected arrival on the 5th), Christmas plans, and trying to get Carter's sleep meds tweaked to "perfection".  One baby step at a time.  My husband also surprised me and took off a week of work starting next Wednesday!  Just keep swimming...just keep swimming!

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