Monday, October 13, 2014

We did it!

A couple of months ago, I posted about the changes we would be making to our house to accommodate Carter's needs and allow our daughters to have their own bedrooms for the first time.  After I posted it, I lost my strength to do it.  I broke down in tears every time I looked at his room and thought about taking it all apart.  I just couldn't do it.  I knew that I would get used to the idea, but I needed time.  This weekend, I finally found the nerve.  So without hesitation, I started cleaning out the downstairs closet so I could start the rigorous work of taking all of the important things in Carter's room and moving it all to a closet.  A task that was not only tiring physically, but emotionally as well.  My little boy is almost 6, so there were tons of things to go through from over the years.  I reminisced about each memory and carefully placed the knick knacks and art projects into boxes for now…I pulled strength from some place way deep down inside that I didn't even know was there.  I spent half of Saturday organizing and moving things from one place to another until all three kids' closets became their very own.  On Sunday, my best friend came over to help me disassemble Carter's hospital bed.  This process took us about 2 hours.  When my husband got home, He took apart the bottom platform and motor so that we could move the 100 pound piece of equipment to the dining room.  Once that was down, the reassembling process started.  After an hour, the hardest part of the whole ordeal, was over.  My moment of strength as we maneuvered the platform downstairs was when Carter started bouncing up and down on his knees with the biggest belly laughs ever.  He smiled and enjoyed seeing his bed coming downstairs.  Despite my sadness and misery of the changes, he was happy.  I think it was his way of showing me that he is okay with the changes and he understands that it's for the best.  He knew his mommy needed encouragement after the challenging weekend.  A room is insignificant and irrelevant to Carter; all he knows is that this is home, whether his things are in a closet or a bedroom.  All he knows is that he is loved and for him, that is enough.  Like I said in my other post about the arrangements, a bedroom and decorations were more for us, than him.  I talked to several family and friends about our plans over the last few months and every single person agreed that this was a good idea and would make our lives easier.  I want to thank each and every one of you for giving me words of encouragement and supporting us every step of the way.  I want to thank my best friend, Alison, for coming straight over when I told her my battle with the hospital bed.  

This next 6 months is full of more appointments, testing, our growing family and many birthdays and holidays.  We will take each day one step at a time.  This journey never gets easier but we do get stronger.

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