Tuesday, August 20, 2013

To my miracle man:

To my miracle man:

All my life, I knew I wanted to be a mommy.  I knew I wanted you even before I knew who you would be.  I imagined who you would become and what you would look like.  I dreamed of holding you in my arms and doing everything I could to give you the best life.  I couldn't imagine a life without my baby.  When you came in to this world, you were everything I ever wanted.  As I admired your tiny little fingers and tiny little toes, I couldn't remember what my life was ever like before you.  My life changed in every single way!  Your blue eyes are far more perfect than I ever dreamed they would be...your little nose and lips every ounce of amazing!  Although I have always had to wait and work for those glances and smiles, each and every one is everything I ever wanted.  I never expected that you would struggle or know what pain is.  I never dreamed that you would be examined and proclaimed anything but perfect.  As your life unfolded before us over time, we cried, we laughed and we grew with you.  I would never want to change you because to me, you are perfect.  I hope that you know that.  I hope that you know how much I love you.  I hope you understand that the only thing I would ever change if given the opportunity, is that you could be pain free and that those little things weren't so hard for you.  I would give anything to hear your voice and words to explain to me what you want, what you like and what you think.  I would give my left arm just to know what your favorite color is, your favorite song, your favorite place.  I would give my right leg to hear you say you love me.  I wish I knew where you hurt.  So many things that I wish for but understand is very difficult for you.  That is okay.  I understand you anyway.  I know you regardless of your silence.  As I watch you do things that doctors said you never would, I am so proud of you.  I am amazed by your strength and resilience every single day.  You change before my eyes from month to month and I continually learn new ways to care for you the best I can.  Although you are not inside any specific box and your diagnosis is still unclear; one thing to me is clear as ever...there is no label that can describe the miracle that you are.  Despite your challenges, you continue to smile, you continue to breath, wake up each morning and teach me to be patience.  Ahh patience, something I have never been good at.  You have taught me so many things and made me a better person!

To my sweet miracle, I love you with all my heart!

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