It's not fair...

After a great summer with no illness or fevers, the time was only ticking away until the next one.  With fall comes bugs and germs that we fear.  2 weeks ago Carter came down with parainfluenza that turned into pneumonia and landed him in the hospital for a couple days.  It was his shortest hospital stay yet, thankfully.  But it also resulted in his first big boo boo!  The weakness contributed to poor balance and strength, so he fell fast and hard...and hit his head on the base of his toy box.  You would think after dealing with so much scary medical stuff, that a cut would be the least of things to cause me panic, but you would be surprised!  Getting the call from my husband that Carter had fallen and hit head really hard and was bleeding bad, was enough to throw me into a tizzy!  KayLeigh and I ran out of that Halloween store like felons!  Seeing the blood and Carter's painful face when I got home was heartbreaking.  We were already debating whether to return to the ER because he was throwing up and still having fevers, but the head injury sped things up!  Carter took the 2 staples like an absolute champ!  He didn't cry or even flinch.  It was much harder on me than him.

Along with the changing seasons and weather, also comes more scary reality for families like ours.  All children get sick; it's expected.  But when your child is medically fragile, illness has a entirely different meaning.  As I see the continual posts of another child who has lost their battle with Mitochondrial Disease, I feel my heart crack...my spirit sagging.  I feel the lidocaine wear off as the pain seeps in.  I feel my barriers crumbling at my feet.  All my strength depleting.  All the vitamins, seizure meds, supplements and GI meds can't save these children.  No amount of miles or searching can add days to their lives.  If only our tears and love could mend their broken cells.  If only...if only.  6 families are mourning the loss of their child in just the last 2 weeks.  6 children who fought so hard.  6 mothers, 6 fathers who have lost their babies.

As I watch my son fighting every single day to live, to grow, to learn...I just want to wrap him tightly in my arms where I can feel his heart beat, feel his warm body against mine.  I wish I could protect him from all the things that could go wrong.  I wish I could console the families who are heartbroken.  A cure can't come fast enough...